If you’ve been following my work for a while, you’ll know I am ALL about Sensuality. I’ve built my entire career to revolve around sensuality – that’s how passionate I am about the topic.
But often I have people asking me why sensuality is important.
I believe that cultivating your sensuality allows you to connect more deeply with yourself. And in doing so, it opens you up to connect more deeply with the world around you and the people in it.
But, for some people, this is too intangible to understand. I get it. It’s hard to know what it feels like to be deeply connected to your senses if you haven’t experienced it before.
So, let’s talk tangibles.
The more connected you are to your sensuality,
the better s€x you will have.
There, I said it.
And…who doesn’t want that?
Now, I resisted talking about s*x for so long – because I believe that Sensuality & S*xuality are in fact VERY different, and I wanted to be clear on the distinction.
Sensuality is both entirely independent of, and deeply intertwined with s€xuality. One can be a sensual being in all facets of their life, without the standard equation of sensuality = s3xuality. An inherent byproduct of increased sensual awareness, however, is an enhanced connection with your s3xuality and your s3x life. By embracing the idea of sensuality in the heightened awareness of the senses, of the appreciation for one’s physical body and the intuitive connection with others; it is inevitable that one’s s€x life will be enhanced, along with many other aspects of life.
So, here I am, talking about both sensuality AND s€xuality.
[Oh, and for those wondering why the ‘e’ keeps getting replaced – unfortunately it’s necessary to bypass the social media police and avoid this content from being blocked as ‘adult content’ or lost in your spam folder. The repression of s€xuality by society is a huge concern. But, that’s a tangent we don’t have time for today!]
I want to share with you some tangible ways that you can enhance your sensuality as well as how this will ultimately elevate your sex life too.
First things first. Let’s get clear on what I mean by sensuality.
I believe sensuality means to be deeply connected to and aware of our internal, external and interpersonal worlds. And, in my definition, there are three expressions of sensuality. These are:
To truly be ‘of the senses’, bringing awareness to every moment, experiencing the world with pleasure through all five senses.
A profound sense of connection to and appreciation of one’s physical body.
An ability to sense how others are feeling, an intuitive awareness and understanding beyond the self.
If you can cultivate these three things, your life will change – and your s€x life will improve greatly. Trust me.
So, how do you cultivate sensuality?
Use your senses mindfully – notice your surroundings, what can you hear, smell, feel, see, taste. Connect in with your physical body – do a body scan and ask yourself how you feel in this moment, what your body is craving.
Slow down – stop rushing so much. Notice how fast you’re walking, talking, typing, chewing. Stop, take a breath and slow down.
Elevate your environment – look around your space, does it feel sensual to you? Find ways to make it feel better, to make it more comfortable, luxurious. Make it smell nice with candles or incense, tidy up and declutter, decorate to make it beautiful, make it cosy and comfortable. Notice how you *feel* in different environments.
Learn to breathe. Seriously. The more you focus on slow, deep, intentional breathing, the more relaxed you will be, the more centred and grounded you’ll be.
Touch your body – yes, touch it! There is nothing wrong with touching your own body. In fact, I feel this is the most powerful way to become more connected with yourself. Allow yourself space and time to explore your physical body. Skin on skin contact is so powerful. Try a moving meditation or giving yourself an oil massage.
These are just 5 ways to cultivate your sensuality. But how do they relate to sex? Well, first let’s discuss the integral components of great s3x.
Presence – the more present you are during sex, the more awareness you will be able to bring to your senses, enhancing your experience of pleasure.
Connection – this is key. This is the difference between what I call ‘Junk Food S*x’ and ‘Gourmet S*x’. Connection requires presence, awareness and vulnerability.
Communication – having the ability to express your desires as well as your boundaries to your partner greatly enhances your sexual connection. Being empathetic and aware of the subtleties and the non-verbal body language of each other is also integral.
Breath – this is the most powerful way to enhance pleasure, by channelling that powerful sexual energy through the body using breath. Great also encourages us to slow down and extend lovemaking even longer.
Body Awareness – cultivating a connection with your body allows you to learn your pleasure language, or what your body responds to. Once you know this, you can communicate this with a partner.
With these foundations in mind – take it back to you. The more you cultivate these skills in your own life and with yourself, the easier it will be to tap in to your sensual essence with a partner.