Let’s talk about our relationship with men and masculinity.

I’m writing this from an apartment overlooking the hills of Sarajevo, Bosnia while two topless German men hang up my laundry for me.

What? I know. Pinch me.

Spending the last two days hanging out with my new (totally platonic)* friends has been just the most recent in a string of beautiful, nourishing interactions with men over the past few months here in Europe.

*[Yes, completely platonic. These men aren’t trying to get in my pants and are still doing my laundry for me and making me dinner. The fact that this astounds me speaks volumes  about my assumptions of men, right?]

You see, until recently, I admit that I had somewhat of a negative view of men and the state of masculinity in the world.

Like many women I’ve spoken to, I was feeling frustrated and exhausted by the flood of toxic masculinity demonstrated to us by politicians, celebrities and, well, our patriarchal society at large. Whether it be simple day to day interactions on the street, with bosses or co-workers or the eye-roll inducing world of dating and unsolicited dick pics – many of us are feeling fed up and wondering where the ‘good’ men are.

Well, I’m pleased to announce that they *do* exist. It’s just a matter of shifting our perspective in order to actually see them.. and magnetise them in to our lives.

I’ve been really opening myself up to experiencing the full beauty of the masculine lately, and I have to tell you – it’s incredible.

Since meeting a man earlier this year who loved me in a way I had never experienced before, exploring some different relationship structures with him resulting in a hell of a lot of growth and then eventually leaving him to choose myself – I have had some serious revelations about my relationship with the masculine.

If you’re familiar with the idea of masculine and feminine energy structures, you’ll know that these energies are not gendered – we all  carry both within us despite how we identify. We can step in to each of these energies at different moments in our days and in our lives as a whole – though we will likely resonate more with one.

As a cisgender, straight woman who feels most at home in her feminine energy – I am attracted to men with a strong masculine core.

Now – many of us are lead to believe that masculinity is a bad thing. This is because we are often being shown the worst forms of masculinity in our media and in general society.

Remember that energy lives on a spectrum and both masculinity and femininity have a light and a dark side, a mature and immature, a higher and lower vibrational expression. So, when I say that I’m attracted to masculine men – I mean those men who are in their divine  expression of their masculine essence. Not some narcissistic dudebro who is beating his chest and aggressively bragging about grabbing women by their p*ssies. This is an example of toxic, immature masculinity.

So, after my experience with a man who embodied many of the divine masculine traits and lacked some others here and there, I set an intention to meet men who were fully embodied in their mature masculine energy.

And what’ll you know – once the intention was set… manifesto presto!

I suddenly starting meeting men who were not only embodying their masculinity, but their feminine side too. In a way that was beautiful, nourishing and powerful.

In the past month I have seen men demonstrate their comfortability in their masculinity in such a way that I had never experienced before.

→ Men men taking control and making clear decisions

→ Men who are pursuing their passion and purpose

→ Men openly showing affection and love for their male friends

→ Men having thoughtful conversations and being challenged without being reactive

→ Men passionate about cooking and sharing those meals with me

→ Men opening up to me, listening to me and asking for my advice

→ Men going out of their way to make me comfortable, just because

→ Men trusting their gut and inviting me on adventures because it ‘feels right’

→ And of course, men doing my laundry for me!

I feel like I have tapped in to a whole new level of trust and respect for men lately that maybe I hadn’t allowed myself to experience before.

I know what it’s like as a woman to be on near-constant guard, to have that underlying threat of disrespect or harm be a baseline that we get used to living in. It’s something that, while unfortunately is quite necessary given the world we live in, can really hinder us from connecting with those genuine, divinely expressed men out there.

I’m loving the energy I’m currently in of being open and trusting of men. It feels *so* much more nourishing than my once skeptical, guarded approach.

So, I want to ask you – what is your experience of the masculine?

How do you feel about masculinity?

What does the term ‘masculinity’ evoke in you?

How can you cultivate divine masculine energy in your own life?

And… how can you dive in to your receptive feminine energy in such a way as to magnetise and allow  the energy of the masculine to hold you?

I want to hear from you about this topic, because I am finding it so  fascinating to explore. So, get in touch and let me know your thoughts!

With so much love,


Let me know your thoughts!


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hi, I’m Eleanor

It is my mission to redefine modern day sensuality and what it means to be a sensual being.

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